Brett Williams, “Mr. Marriage” is a Marriage and Family Therapist, and the author of You Can Be Right Or You Can Be Married. Brett believes there is only one fight, one conflict, one issue, which couples get locked into: who’s right and who’s wrong. When you analyze any disagreement, what you find is that the topic is always the same. The variables that get a couple going are endless, from not picking up his/her socks to the frequency of sex. However, as the disagreement progresses, the topic invariably shifts to who is the good guy and/or who is the bad guy. What is interesting about these “Right Fights” is that they are not about needing to be right, but come from the feeling of being wronged, hurt, or unloved. Couples want to right the wrong they feel, and then get mired in their battles over blame. The solution is to address the feeling of being hurt or unloved, by connecting as a couple. Our wounds cause us to withdraw, and that is why communication fails. By remaining close, two people are able to discuss their differences, express their pain, and feel more intimate afterwards.
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A marriage counselor recommended this book to me and I must say, it has been well worth it. You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married is very informative with lots of practical application. This book will help you understand your mate and be more responsive to their needs. I recommend this book to couples in all stages of their lives from couples who are dating, to newlyweds, to long time married folks. This book is full of useful solutions to help revive and keep the love in your relationship!
If you could have only one guide for your intimate relationships, including marriage, this would be the one to have. The author writes from his heart and his own experience, making his thoughts authentic and their practice an exciting possibilty for every couple.
Brett Williams writes in an accessible style and pinpoints the central issue around most conflicts exprienced in intimate relationships. While the “right fight” concept is intuitive to the reader, it can be easily dismissed as simply, “Well, all that couples need to do is love each other and that will make everything better.” That in fact is what Williams deals with in a focused and pragmatic style. Williams describes practical strategies to help couples generate love in relationships. It is a great read and I have recommended this to several people looking for answers to troubled relationships.