Comments on: Why Men Complain

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 15:37:21 +0000

I understand but it makes no sense to me!!!! I do things I don’t want to do for him but I don’t complain. Complaining = love? For me, doing it WITHOUT compaining = love! To me, complaining = “Why are you so bossy! You are nagging me, woman! I HATE doing this stuff for you and I’m letting you know.”

However, I will take your advice. Next time he complains, I will thank him and tell him that I love him. But I doubt very highly that I will “feel” loved. That will take some reprogramming on my part.

By: A content wife

A content wife — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:08:22 +0000

Although I understand where you are coming from and that men certainly do like to complain, I would wholeheartedly disagree with your acceptance of complaining as evidence of love. I think it is inappropriate and disrespectful for someone to complain to their spouse in the way that you mention. I do think it is fine and often therapeutic to complain or vent to a trusted party about problems at work, about difficulties with friends, etc. However, if I ask my husband to do the dishes, it is not helpful to the situation or the relationship for him to sit and complain about doing them. The dishes don’t get done that way. Sounds harsh, eh? Well, turn it around. Perhaps my husband can’t make it to the mechanic to get an oil change and I had plans to go out with a girlfriend to lunch, but man, the car needs to go in. As the wife, I may very well have to be disappointed and change my own plans, not to mention, I hate to do anything with the car. So should I, in that situation, complain, whine and sigh? Probably not. He’s only going to get angry with me and the car isn’t going to get its oil changed. I may be able to talk to my husband about trying to find another time to get it fixed or I could say, “Honey, you know I hate to do anything with the car, but if you really need me to do it, I can.” Likely, I’ll have to give up some of my time to do something I hate so that he can do something more important. I think it’s a bit of give-and-take on both sides and acceptance of the fact that a lot of the time, we’re not going to do things we like to do, but they have to be done. Only a short time ago, I spoke specifically to my husband about this and now we are familiar with what each other likes and dislikes doing. We’ve made a silent agreement, it seems, to be sure to show that person appreciation when he/she does do something he/she doesn’t like to do. That way, things get done, we don’t argue about them and we both feel loved and appreciated. There are better ways to express love.

By: Meshak

Meshak — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:17:37 +0000

Well if he complains and still doesn’t do what is asked is that still love it is very confusing to me. Doesn’t make much sense for me to have to figure out through complaining that my husband loves me that’s crap.

By: pligg.com

pligg.com — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 03:21:49 +0000

Why Men Complain…

Why do husbands complain when you ask them to do something?…

By: susan

susan — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:09:57 +0000

I would agree 100%! It’s actually a running joke with me and my man!

By: David

David — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:46:20 +0000

“This has all the makings of a great and helpful reality show. No bs. great delivery wonderful insight. you are the man !!”

By: Lori N.

Lori N. — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:55:51 +0000

Ok- so men complain and its love and women complain and its ??????- I know my husband would say- WHINING

By: Barry

Barry — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:51:41 +0000

“YOU, sir, are OUT of the CLUB!!!!”

By: Kevin

Kevin — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:47:49 +0000

Brett,
Very well done…lots of good information. I love what you are doing.
Keep up the good.

By: Heron

Heron — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:46:47 +0000

Very provocative with lots of good, humour to illustrate his point.