Comments on: Passionless Sex http://www.helptalking.com/passionless-sex Coaching Couples Through Conflict Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:02:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Johnny Black http://www.helptalking.com/passionless-sex/comment-page-1#comment-1461 Johnny Black Mon, 01 Nov 2010 18:06:41 +0000 http://www.helptalking.com/?p=335#comment-1461 A man, being a man, treating a woman right, and being romantic doesn't always work. I know this because I've done it all... I see that marriage is a flawed religious invention that is seriously unnatural to our evolutionary history. Marriage goes against nature.. nature always wins. Throughout our 200,000+ years as a species, man has always procreated with as many women as possible to ensure the survival of his seed. Now it seems we're shamefully reduced to manipulation and methods of re-courtship on a non sexual woman - women who have probably already fulfilled her child bearing objectives... it's like throwing pearls to swine. A man, being a man, treating a woman right, and being romantic doesn’t always work. I know this because I’ve done it all…

I see that marriage is a flawed religious invention that is seriously unnatural to our evolutionary history. Marriage goes against nature.. nature always wins.

Throughout our 200,000+ years as a species, man has always procreated with as many women as possible to ensure the survival of his seed. Now it seems we’re shamefully reduced to manipulation and methods of re-courtship on a non sexual woman – women who have probably already fulfilled her child bearing objectives… it’s like throwing pearls to swine.

]]> By: Thomas http://www.helptalking.com/passionless-sex/comment-page-1#comment-1364 Thomas Sun, 10 Oct 2010 12:33:23 +0000 http://www.helptalking.com/?p=335#comment-1364 My wife has been married four times previously. All ended in divorce. The first because he got his girlfriend pregnant, the second because he was druggy and not committed to anything. With him she had two children which he refused to support, the third because they just weren't able to get along, and the fourth sold her house out from under her and apparently physically abused her. Together they had two children. To this date, his support is sporatic. I am no saint, but she and I had a son and he is the treasure of my life. I would never leave her because it would tramatize him. She has him sleep with her and he feels highly dependent on her. To me, it is as if he was her crutch. She loves to make cruel and harsh statements. Her father died of ALS in 2006 and I am wondering if she is afraid I might die and leave her alone. She comments repeatedly that if anything happened she couldn't take care of the house. I just can't get over her refusal to be involved in our sexual experience. It is as if okay I've spread my legs you do the rest, and then she doesn't want to have any more because it wasn't satisfying to her. She is just so impersonal. We sent a lot of e-mails especially at night because she will not talk about it openly. It seems that she is trying to make me angry enough that I would leave, but that would never happen because of my son. I send her notes and I try to avoid confronting or berating her. She just wants to find faults where she can. My wife has been married four times previously. All ended in divorce. The first because he got his girlfriend pregnant, the second because he was druggy and not committed to anything. With him she had two children which he refused to support, the third because they just weren’t able to get along, and the fourth sold her house out from under her and apparently physically abused her. Together they had two children. To this date, his support is sporatic.

I am no saint, but she and I had a son and he is the treasure of my life. I would never leave her because it would tramatize him. She has him sleep with her and he feels highly dependent on her. To me, it is as if he was her crutch.

She loves to make cruel and harsh statements. Her father died of ALS in 2006 and I am wondering if she is afraid I might die and leave her alone. She comments repeatedly that if anything happened she couldn’t take care of the house. I just can’t get over her refusal to be involved in our sexual experience. It is as if okay I’ve spread my legs you do the rest, and then she doesn’t want to have any more because it wasn’t satisfying to her. She is just so impersonal. We sent a lot of e-mails especially at night because she will not talk about it openly. It seems that she is trying to make me angry enough that I would leave, but that would never happen because of my son. I send her notes and I try to avoid confronting or berating her. She just wants to find faults where she can.

]]> By: Thomas http://www.helptalking.com/passionless-sex/comment-page-1#comment-1363 Thomas Sun, 10 Oct 2010 12:13:53 +0000 http://www.helptalking.com/?p=335#comment-1363 My wife had a baby in March 2007, and we had sex in January and once again in May. We did not have any the rest of the year. In 2008 we moved into a larger, old home. We might have had sex once or twice during the year. In 2009, she had bariatric surgery in September. I finally talked her into have sex in late December. It was terrible because I was out of the medication I had been taking. Since I was diagnosed in 2004, I was using cialis. I ran out in 2007. I got a new supply on a regular basis but I still hear from my wife that we might as well get used to the fact that somethings(as she puts it) don't work anymore. We have had sex a couple of times recently, but she feels like I am pressuring her. WE can only do it late at night and in her bed(we sleep separately because she still allows 3 yr. old to sleep with her). I have asked her about trying various positions, but she nixes the idea. I have asked her to touch me and possibly guide me in, but she doesn't feel it is her responsibility. I wear a condom on her bequest to avoid any mess. She just wants to lay there. It is very disheartening that she does not want to be a part of the experience, but she feels if she drinks before the act it will numb her. Yet with all of this she says she loves me. My wife had a baby in March 2007, and we had sex in January and once again in May. We did not have any the rest of the year. In 2008 we moved into a larger, old home. We might have had sex once or twice during the year. In 2009, she had bariatric surgery in September. I finally talked her into have sex in late December. It was terrible because I was out of the medication I had been taking. Since I was diagnosed in 2004, I was using cialis. I ran out in 2007. I got a new supply on a regular basis but I still hear from my wife that we might as well get used to the fact that somethings(as she puts it) don’t work anymore. We have had sex a couple of times recently, but she feels like I am pressuring her. WE can only do it late at night and in her bed(we sleep separately because she still allows 3 yr. old to sleep with her). I have asked her about trying various positions, but she nixes the idea. I have asked her to touch me and possibly guide me in, but she doesn’t feel it is her responsibility. I wear a condom on her bequest to avoid any mess. She just wants to lay there. It is very disheartening that she does not want to be a part of the experience, but she feels if she drinks before the act it will numb her. Yet with all of this she says she loves me.

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