Comments on: Creating What You Don’t Want http://www.helptalking.com/creating-what-you-dont-want Coaching Couples Through Conflict Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:02:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Abril Teran http://www.helptalking.com/creating-what-you-dont-want/comment-page-1#comment-748 Abril Teran Fri, 14 May 2010 20:27:26 +0000 http://www.helptalking.com/?p=1580#comment-748 Same situation as Nakila....I've been trying to get my husband to attend counseling classes with me but he just won't. Also I don't want to sound like an old style fiance and I don't mind that he has female friends what I don't like is that he tells me when his at work and I call him or text him that his busy...then I find in his phone all these messages with his female friends throughout different times of the day. I tell him when we argue that I try not to bother him because he's at work or text him so many times and that it's not jealousy as he makes it seem. It's the fact that he turns me away but I find out he has time for his female friends when he is suppose to be at work and tells me his busy. What do you do with a person like that? I've told him on several occasions that I don't mind his friendships what I mind is the way I feel rejected. I've been going to counseling sessions to try to help me and to the church but common isn't enough enough? Same situation as Nakila….I’ve been trying to get my husband to attend counseling classes with me but he just won’t. Also I don’t want to sound like an old style fiance and I don’t mind that he has female friends what I don’t like is that he tells me when his at work and I call him or text him that his busy…then I find in his phone all these messages with his female friends throughout different times of the day. I tell him when we argue that I try not to bother him because he’s at work or text him so many times and that it’s not jealousy as he makes it seem. It’s the fact that he turns me away but I find out he has time for his female friends when he is suppose to be at work and tells me his busy. What do you do with a person like that? I’ve told him on several occasions that I don’t mind his friendships what I mind is the way I feel rejected. I’ve been going to counseling sessions to try to help me and to the church but common isn’t enough enough?

]]> By: T. Jackson http://www.helptalking.com/creating-what-you-dont-want/comment-page-1#comment-608 T. Jackson Mon, 05 Apr 2010 17:13:57 +0000 http://www.helptalking.com/?p=1580#comment-608 Very thoughtful response and you are soooo right about not backing away from those you love. I've seen too often in my life. When we as humans experience pain and rejection...We'll do all that we can to avoid that which caused the pain ! Including going into a shell. Call it self-preservation or whatever, but I't can be overcome as you described --with better communication. Just being open and honest with your thoughts and emotions can work wonders :-D Very thoughtful response and you are soooo right about not backing away from those you love. I’ve seen too often in my life. When we as humans experience pain and rejection…We’ll do all that we can to avoid that which caused the pain ! Including going into a shell.

Call it self-preservation or whatever, but I’t can be overcome as you described –with better communication. Just being open and honest with your thoughts and emotions can work wonders :-D

]]>