Many couples do not find traditional marriage counseling to be a helpful option. Making an appointment, driving through traffic, finding a babysitter for the kids and taking time off from work can make getting to marriage counseling a challenge. In addition, the once or twice weekly appointments for marriage counseling can become costly.
And yet, relationships are difficult. Every couple faces their own set of unique challenges and difficulties. Many couples find at some time in their life they will need some additional support and assistance in their relationship. If not marriage counseling, where will these couples turn? What options do they have?
Fortunately, there are now alternatives to traditional marriage counseling. A new wave of help for couples is now available in the form of relationship coaching. Coaching can be done in person, but can also be offered over the phone or through the internet. This convenient alternative to marriage counseling has given couples more options for addressing their issues. Relationship Coaching over the phone can provide couples with support in communicating and help them develop skills that will assist them in future interactions.
Over the phone, Relationship Coaching usually involves either a single individual or a couple on the phone with a Relationship Coach. The issue is described and the relationship coach helps guide the couple through a successful conversation. The relationship coach keeps the conversation fair and on topic. If an individual seeks help, the relationship coach will assist the individual in planning the conversation that they wish to have with someone in a way to insure it will be successful. Relationship Coaching is an affordable, convenient alternative to marriage counseling. Make an appointment as an individual or couple for relationship coaching through our convenient online appointment maker.

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Here is a short video clip filmed at the Once Upon A Family convention in Texas where Brett explores the question of what is love.  Check it out and you will be amazed at how simple the idea is, and also how useful it can be to apply to your life today.

When you need help talking, count on us for the best:

• Individual and Marriage Counseling- In person, Phone, Online
• Couple Coaching- Phone, Online
• FREE Relationship Advice
• FREE Relationship Quiz and Relationship Test
• FREE Communication Videos
• Relationship/Marriage Education Classes
• Books and Date Night Deck
  Dating, engaged, living together, newly married, troubled marriage,  happily married, separated, divorcing, whatever your need,  Help Talking will make your relationship healthy, strong, and loving.  Our passion is helping you talk it through. Look through our resources and get the support you need today.

Even better than marriage counseling or marital therapy, let me suggest something new: RELATIONSHIP TECHNICAL SUPPORT.  When you are in a relationship conflict what do you need? Some way to resolve the conflict and talk it through, right? This unique site provides people everywhere a new service that helps them talk through their disagreements and resolve their conflicts.   Relationship coaching over the phone is a practical solution for busy people who need help resolving issues.   During a Relationship Tech Support phone session, will we get on the phone with you and that other person, and walk you through that conflict. In most cases, one call is all that is needed to resolve the conflict.  You and the person you are in conflict with do not even need to be in the same room or the same state.  Each person can speak from the privacy of their own phone with one of our relationship coaches as we guide you through the conversation and assist you in resolving the conflict.

All relationships have conflicts.  It is important to get help with resolving your conflict so that you can experience a happy, peaceful relationship.   Experience conflict resolution with one call!    Make an appointment for Relationship Coaching today!

Our Relationship Tech Support is Confidential and Secure!

Brett R. Williams, M.F.T.

Wesley my 17 year old son is finally showing interest in driving. It’s been something Lynda and I have never pushed. We figure the longer he puts off driving the better it will be on every level.  But now all of his friends are driving he wants to get his license.

Well, we all know before he get his license he have to do a lot of preparation, there are lots of skills and laws he will have to learn first.  It could be another good three to six months before he will actually become licensed to drive on his own.

The same idea is true for our communication.  To stop fighting and start talking you will need to do some preparation, and learn some new relationship skills. New ways of thinking and talking to each other need to be mastered before you can jump into an emotionally charged conversation. Learning conflict resolution will not take you 6 months, but you will need to invest some time prior to any intense conversation to figure out what’s wrong and not talk always talk about who’s wrong.

The exercise in this article is called “So what?” and this free communication tip will help provide the clarity you need prior to having a discussion.  So if you are getting ready for a phone coaching session with your spouse and our coaches at Help Talking, or you want to talk with your partner alone, you will need to get clear on what to say.  The exercise, so what will help you do that, by clarifying the difference between what’s wrong and who’s wrong. You can learn more about avoiding the blame game by watching the clip or reading You Can Right or You Can Be Married.

Here’s how this relationship exercise works.  Take out a piece of paper and at the top write out what the conflict is all about.  Keep the relationship problem to just one line or a few words.  In the example from the free video clip I used a couple I was coaching in New York.  The wife was upset because her husband had gotten home 15 minutes late.  So at the top of the page I put “came home late”.

Then below the header I wrote out why that behavior was problematic.  In our example I put, “It made us wait”.  Then next to that line, I want you to write the words, “So what?.”  Spend a moment thinking why the other person’s behavior upset you.

Again using our example, the response to “So what?” was that being late was rude. So we wrote rude on the next line below “it made us wait”.  Now next to “rude” I want to again write the phrase “so what?.” This again gets you to think about why your partner’s poor behavior was upsetting.

Continue this process of writing down how the other person’s bad behavior is causing you to feel bad and allow yourself to go deeper with each line.  In our process it came out that the husband’s rude tardiness brought up feelings of being unimportant, which were accompanied by even deeper feelings of being unloved.

Once my couple in New York, were able to get to the root issue of the conflict, the conversation changed from how rude he was for being 15 minutes late, to how she felt unloved when he came home late. This was just one of the actions he took that made her feel unloved. Those were two very different conversations with two very different outcomes.

As you go through this process yourself I am confident that you will find the shift from who’s wrong to more about what’s wrong will make all the difference in the world.  If you get stuck or need any additional assistance please get on the phone with one of our coaches and we will walk you through the process in one simple call.

Take care,

Karen and Bill (not real name/photo)

Two months ago, I couldn’t get online. Lynda’s computer was working and my iPhone had perfect reception but my computer wasn’t finding our home network.  So after a few minutes of frustration I decided I didn’t want to waste anymore time and jump online with tech support. I know telephone tech support can be hit or miss but I had always gotten wonderful service from our internet provider so I knew I could get this issue resolved quickly and easily. Sure enough, within five minutes of sharing the problem and making a few system checks I discovered that my Wi-Fi switch was off.  Once I turned it back on, I was back connected to my cyber friends.  An added benefit was that now I knew what was wrong, I know what to do if it happens again.

That’s where the idea for HelpTalking.com started. As the executive director of a non-profit organization called OC Marriage, I had been implementing a phone coaching program to follow up our Marriage Education class. It was clear that going to one workshop was not going to transform people’s lives, so we were following up with weekly phone coaching sessions that enable our couples to practice their skills. After a short time of watching couples move deeply through extremely difficult topics, I realized that any couple could benefit from this kind of phone support.

For a moment remember your best phone tech support experience. Wasn’t it nice to have someone online who knew what to do? How was it hearing a friendly voice when maybe you were feeling frustrated and confused? What I appreciated was being able to talk with someone who could work with me step by step at my pace. And best of all it happened over the phone from the comfort of my own home.

Now imagine having those same resources for your relationships, with your girl friend or boy friend, husband or wife, or maybe with a family member or a friend. How cool would it be to be able to call on your own or preferably with that other person and be able to have a professional there to help the two of you deal with a problem?

Karen is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Karen came home from a trip and found her son’s suitcase lying in the entry hall opened but not unpacked.  He had gotten home a day before and her husband Bill did nothing to put things away.  She was furious that everything fell on her.  Bill was frustrated at his wife because he didn’t see clearing up their son’s stuff as either of their responsibilities.  He wanted her to let their son clean it up himself. They were trapped and unable to talk.

After 45 minutes of a being coached through their conflict, both were feeling connected and each had a better understanding of their feelings, and also their partners.  Karen had been able to express long standing feelings of resentment.  Bill expressed feeling inadequate about himself and that was why he had closed down and refused to deal with the mess. Once both felt heard and understood, they were both able to make commitments of cooperation and teamwork. It was a beautiful thing!
Are you ready to talk through your issues, feelings, and needs?  Make an appointment with our professional support staff and express yourselves in a way that brings you closer.

Psychotherapy started with the work of Dr. Sigmund Freud who began treating medical conditions by looking at how thoughts and emotions affected physical health.  To this day psychotherapy is designed to treat mental illness. What if you are not psychotic, schizophrenic, or suicidal?   The majority of clients I see are NOT mentally ill, but simply need help talking through issues and resolving conflict.

This awareness that working with families and couples is not the same as working with the mentally disturbed has started new terms like marriage counselor or marital therapist.  But these ideas are still too closely tied to “treatment”.   Other new ideas have also sprung up such as life coach and marriage education which have moved us even further from the medical model.

With the rise of the computer age, let me suggest a new more meaningful image; relationship tech support.  We have all experienced at times the need for phone technical support.  The support we receive is problem focused and brief, while hopefully picking up some new tricks along the way.  It is typically one call and the issue is handled.

At HelpTalkng.com that is our mission: to provide our clients with the kind of technical support they need to address the relationship issues  and conflict in their lives with the same brief format.    The best part is that support can now be provided over the phone. Call in alone or with your partner, and we will give the structure and unbiased ideas that only a third person provides.

The way we support couples, or anyone in need of addressing conflict, is to have both parties get on the phone with one of our professionals, and we will use the very best tools and resources available to assist the two of you to talk it through.  No blame, no analysis, no psychobabble, just the structure and skills you need to say everything that needs to be said and to hear everything that needs to be heard.

Services on Help Talking