There have been many advances in how we do marriage and relationship counseling in the last decade. A newer idea is moving away from the psychoanalytic model of therapy for couples. Most couples who enter marriage counseling are not mentally ill. They simply need help communicating. Relationship Coaching over the phone is a new idea that focuses on communication and skill development while resolving a single issue.
How does Relationship Coaching work?
First, you make appointment for phone coaching for you and the person you are in conflict with. Second, the Relationship Coach calls you and the other person at the appointed time. Initial information is taken and the dialog begins. The Relationship Coach guides you through the conversation, making sure that everyone gets to express themselves, keeping the conversation on track, and focused. The Relationship Coach ensures that all parties are given a chance to communicate their thoughts and feelings, and also to hear the other person. When needed, the Relationship Coach takes the opportunity to teach communication skills and walks the clients through using those skills.
Does Relationship Coaching Really Work Over the Phone?
In short, Yes! At HelpTalking.com, Our Relationship Coaches are trained in how to listen to the breathing of the individuals they are speaking with. They know when the pauses and hesitations in conversation mean something. They pick up on the inflections in voice and they way things are said, as well as what is said. They are experts in communicating and they know how to help someone get through a difficult conversation. Our Relationship Coaches are able to help our clients move through a conversation or conflict quickly and effectively.
Furthermore, some people are embarrassed to seek face to face counseling. Phone coaching allows people to feel more secure and anonymous to the coach. They can focus more on their interaction with their partner, than on their interaction with the coach. For many couples this is a more comfortable approach to improving their relationship.
Relationship Coaching over the phone is also more convenient. Couples today have busy schedules. Sometimes it is difficult to find a time to get both people to a marriage counselor. Phone coaching can take place anywhere. The couple does not even need to be in the same room or state. We have coached couples while one is on a business trip and the other is at home. No need to find a sitter for the kids, no need to drive through traffic, a phone coaching session is a convenient alternative for busy couples.
Phone Coaching is also less expensive than traditional marriage counseling. As we said before, most couples having a conflict do not need psychotherapy. Many couples just have one issue they are stuck on and need help talking through it. If a couple can resolve a single issue in one conversation with a Relationship Coach, this will be far less expensive than many ongoing sessions of marriage counseling.
Relationship Coaching is Not Just for Married Couples
In addition, Relationship Coaching over the phone is not limited to married couples. There are many people in your life that you may have a conflict with. You may have a co-worker or a relative that you have an unresolved conflict with. Relationship Coaching over the phone can give you the opportunity to communicate effectively and conveniently with a variety of people in your life. Do you have someone you need to tell something to and you’re afraid they will not listen? Relationship Coaching may be the answer for you.
Do you need Marriage Counseling?
If you really need marriage counseling, by all means make an appointment with a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist or make an appointment for marriage counseling over the phone. However, if you simply have an issue that you need to talk through with another person, possibly a spouse, parent, friend or co-worker. Consider Relationship Coaching over the phone as a convenient and affordable alternative. Make an appointment today!

Alright maybe HATE is too strong a term. The front page article on this months HITCHED magazine talks about how problems in our relationships really always come down to love. Women want to see their men happy, but when a man’s exuberance out strips anything that the man has brought to the relationship, then there is going to be a problem. If I as a husband don’t get just as excited about our anniversary as I do about a game, then that is going to leave Lynda feeling hurt.
The article then provides suggestion for couples to use football as a way to spend some time together and build some energy for the relationship. Read it you will like it. Oh did I mention that I wrote it. You will still like it, check it out.

HITCHED-Why Women Hate Football

“Love Your Neighbor as Yourself”, that is the Law of Love that Jesus taught. In order to be balanced in your marriage relationship, you need two kinds of love; loving your neighbor and loving yourself. Women are traditionally good at loving their neighbor. Women are givers. They love their children, their husbands, their friends, their neighbors and their relatives. Women are constatnly giving to all the others in their lives. Men on the other hand, are great at loving themselves. It’s true! A man can be gone all week long on a business trip. He comes home Friday night. Early Saturday morning he is standing at the door with a golf bag over his shoulder. His wife will say, “Where are you going? You have been gone all week.” To which he replies, “That’s right I have been working all week, now I need time to relax.” He does not feel guilty about asking for his needs.  In order for couples to have a balanced relationship and happy relationship, women need to be better at loving themselves and men need to be better at loving others.

Men are Naturally Getters
During courtship, the man pursued the woman. He was eager to do whatever he could to GET the woman. He bought her wrote poetry, gave her bouquets of flowers, called her just to say hello, listened attentively and communicated his love. The relationship was balanced because he was both giving and getting, as well as communicating clearly. So, what happens once a man gets married? He no longer needs to pursue the woman, he already has her. He turns his efforts towards other goals. He pursues his career, a new home, etc. The relationship becomes less balanced.

Women are Naturally Givers
Most women are naturally Givers. They give to their family and friends first, and give to themselves last, if at all. Women often neglect their own needs.  One of the reasons for this is that women tend to feel guilty about getting their own needs met. However, in a healthy, balanced relationship both parties will get their needs met. In a balanced relationship both people will clearly communicate what they want and need.

How to Balance Needs in a Marriage Relationship
The best way to create balance in a relationship is for everyone to be responsible for making sure their own needs are met. This requires clear communication. Typically, men are better at communicating what they need than women are. If a man needs down time, he asks for it, if he needs sex, he asks for it. If he does not get his needs me right away, he will ask for it again. Women, on the other hand are often reluctant to ask for what they need, and if they do not get it right away, or if there is any resistance, women often give up. They would rather put aside their needs, than communicate clearly and effectively about what they need.

Problems Communicating in Your Relationship
Men tend to offer resistance when they are asked to do something, even if the woman is clearly communicating.
Woman: Honey, will you go to a marriage education class with me?
Man: Geez, I like to relax on the weekends. Why, do I have to go to a marriage education class?
Men equate suffering with showing love. When a man complains about doing something, he wants to make sure you realize how much of a sacrifice that he is making. It is his way of communicating how much he loves you.
Women tend to hear the complaint, and back off from what they are asking. Women start to feel guilty about asking for their needs.

Asking For What We Need
Jesus said that we do not have what we want in prayer because we do not ask. And how did he say we should ask? He said we should ask assertively without ceasing. Jesus tells us a story about houseguests showing up in the middle of the night, hungry and tired from their traveling. Which one of us would not go to our neighbor and knock on their door, asking for food to feed the guests? He goes on to say, which one of us, if we received no answer would not knock all the harder? Likewise, when we ask for what we need in our relationships, we should ask assertively, and ask until we get what we want. Let us be perfectly clear here, we are not talking about nagging. We are encouraging women to clearly articulate and communicate what they need, and express it from the heart.
“Sweetheart, I would really like us to get some marriage counseling. It is very important to me that we work on our issues and learn to communicate. I want us to make an investment in our future together. I know you are tired after a long day at work, but I appreciate the sacrifice of your time that you are willing to make for us.”
This woman is not nagging. She is calmly and clearly expressing what she wants and needs. Now, even if the man complains, she will know that he is expressing his sacrifice and love for her. In this way both people can become balanced, the Giver and the Getter. Women can learn to get their needs met and men can learn to give, and in so doing, create a new goal of pursuit, that of a healthy, happy and balanced relationship.

You can purchase the full 45 minute talk about Balanced Love for only $5.00.

In the last few years we have all heard a lot about the Law of Attraction.  There are other spititual laws that govern our universe.  One of the things that makes life meaningful is our relationships.  Therefore, exploring the Law of Love can benefit all of us.  

The law of love teaches us how to make connections in a deep and meaningful way.  It is love that makes us happy, and the law of love will show you how.

What is the Law of Love?  Understanding the definition of love and how it works can help keep our relationships healthy.  The Law of Love is described in a new article by Brett and Lynda Williams published by Marriage For Today.  Click to read the article and discover the Law of Love.

Lynda R. Williams has written several humorous and helpful articles to help you improve your relationship.