Mr. Marriage answers a relationship question about dealing with parent problems and family shame. 

ARJUNA’S DILEMMA

Dear Mr. Marriage, (VIDEO CLIP BELOW)
I am from India. I met a woman when I was 19 and kept in contact with her.
As a matter of affection, I called her as elder sister and introduced her to my parents as sister. Even she tied rakhi to me once. But then slowly we kept meeting with my parents knowing about this. This meeting was possible because she is divorced and has a child from her previous marriage (who is now 8 years old). She is 11 years senior to me (I am 24 now). I married her without my parents knowing about this. Now I have told my parents about our relationship and they say that you have spoiled the dharma and should divorce her in order to come to right path. All three of us (me, my son andwife) are emotionally attached. But parents are saying that break this relationship as society will course them and their reputation will be destroyed if they tell this to anyone.
My wife is ready for any step from my side which means that currently I have all doors open. Will second divorce to her be fair? Will parents ever accept this if I stay with my marriage? Though these should have been thought before marrying. But still….
Please advise on my future course of action.

Whatever happens happens

My Dear Friend,
Let me see if I can answer your question with my limited and humble understanding of your culture and traditions.  Your story reminds me of the dilemma that faced Arjuna in the battle of Kurukshetra.  Arjuna was a fierce warrior and powerful commander, but this battle was against his own people, his own family, and cousins and so he was deeply disturbed at the task set out before him.  He did not want to kill his own family, and yet he knew as the commander that he could not surrender.  As you know Krishna’s advice regarding this dilemma formed the basis of the Bhagavad Gita and will be the basis of my advice to you.

As I understand it, Krishna told Arjuna to do what he must without fear or concern for the outcome, but instead do it as service to God.  Do it with complete love, for the people he was slaying and for his love of Krishna.

My advice to you is the same.  Stop all this double mindedness, and do what your heart, intuition, and God is telling you.  And the pain that you will be bringing to others, bring it with all your love, with all your devotion.  If you stay or go is not as important as your need to do all things in love.

I hope this helps, my heart surrounds you and all you love in love.

Brett Williams
Mr. Marriage